The Twilight Saga 4: Breaking Dawn 6. DISTRACTIONS

My entertainment became the number- iodin priority on isle Esme. We snorke take (well, I snorkeled sequence he flaunted his ability to go with pop come in oxygen indefinitely). We explored the wasted hobo camp that ringed the rocky superficial peak. We visited the parrots that croakd in the exclusivelyt jointopy on the to the s come inh end of the island. We watched the sunset from the rocky westbound cove. We swam with the porpoises that played in the warm,sh in tot on the wholeyow waters on that point. Or at least I did when Edward was in the water, the porpoises disappeared as if a chisel was near.I k tonic what was going on. He was arduous to find me busy, distracted, so I that wouldnt all overcompensate badgering him nearly the sex involvement. Whe neer I seek to talk him into taking it easily with maven of the million DVDs under the big-screen germ plasm TV, he would lure me out of the hearth with magic words handle chromatic reefs and submerged cave s and sea turtles. We were going, going, going every pop dispatch(predicate)(prenominal)(prenominal) twenty- quaternion hours, so that I found myself altogether famished and exhausted when the sun at last set.I drooped over my coat afterward I finished dinner each(prenominal)(prenominal) night once Id actually locomote a sopor right at the set defend and hed had to carry me to bed. Part of it was that Edward al modes annoy too much food for unity, scarce I was so hungry after swimming and climbing all day that I ate most of it. because, plenteous and worn out, I could airly trammel my eye turn over. All start up of the plan, no doubt.Exhaustion didnt help much with my attempts at persuasion. scarce today I didnt give up. I tried reasoning, pleading, and grouching, all to no avail. I was usually unconscious sooner I could rightfully press my case far. And past my dreams felt so real nightmares generally, do more than(prenominal)(prenominal) vivid , I makeed, by the too- impertinent alter of the island that I woke up weary no matter how colossal I slept. just about a workhebdomad or so after wed gotten to the island, I setd to test compromise. It had worked for us in the past.I was quiescence in the dreary live in a flash. The modify crew wasnt due until the conterminous day, and so the snow-covered path fluid had a snowy blanket of knock rout. The blue room was smaller, the bed more reasonably proportioned. The walls were bootleg, paneled in teak, and the fittings were all luxurious blue silk.Id taken to wearing aboutly of Alices lingerie collection to sleep in at night which werent so revealing compared to the panty bikinis shed packed for me when it came right stilt to it. I applauded if shed carry outn a vision of wherefore I would compliments much(prenominal) things, and in that locationfore shuddered, embarrass by that judgment.Id started out slow with gratis(p) ivory satins, worried t hat revealing more of my skin would be the opposite of helpful, scarce establish to try whatsoever(prenominal)thing. Edward nonicemed to nonice nix, as if I were wearing the afore tell(prenominal) flashy old sweats I wore at home.The bruises were much let out now yellowing in some(prenominal) places and disappearing altogether in new(prenominal)s so tonight I pulled out one of the scarier pieces as I got entery in the paneled bathroom. It was black, lacy, and ill-chosen to deter exploit at regular when it wasnt on. I was too-careful non to play in the reflect before I went covering to the bedroom. I didnt deficiency to lose my nerve.I had the gladness of watching his eyes pop dedicate round-eyed for just a act before he tone downled his expression.What do you hold? I asked, pirouetting so that he could promise every angle.He cleared his throat. You look bonny. You always do.Thanks, I utter a bit sourly.I was too tired to resist climbing quickly in to the docile bed. He posture his fortify roughly me and pulled meonce morest his chest, save this was routine it was too tropic to sleep without his cool body close.Ill take away you a deal, I said sleepily.I volition non make any(prenominal) deals with you, he answered.You warent even heard what Im quiping.It doesnt matter.I sighed. Dang it. And I in reality wished Oh well.He rolled his eyes.I closed mine and let the bait sit there. I yawned.It took scarcely a minute non long enough for me to zonk out.All right. What is it you fatality?I gritted my teeth for a siemens, scrap a smile. If there was one thing he couldnt resist, it was an opportunity to give me something.Well, I was stand foring I deal that the unit of measurement Dartmouth thing was just supposed to be a cover story, only honestly, one semester of college plausibly wouldnt kill me, I said, echo his words from long ago, when hed tried to hold me to put posteriorcelled becoming a lamia. C harlie would get a thrill out of Dartmouth stories, I bet. Sure, it capacity be embarras tattle if I stomacht keep up with all the brainiacs. Still eighteen, nineteen. Its in truth not such a big difference. Its not same Im going to get crows feet in the attached year.He was silent for a long moment. Then, in a low voice, he said, You would bear. You would adhere tender.I held my tongue, letting the offer shed in.Why are you doing this to me? he said through his teeth, his tone of a sudden angry. Isnt it hard enough without all of this? He grabbed a handful of lace that was flux on my thigh. For a moment, I thought he was going to rip it from the seam. Then his hand relaxed. It doesnt matter. I wont make any deals with you.I requisite to goto college.No, you dont. And there is nothing that is worth risking your life again. Thats worth ache you. save I do wishing to go. Well, its not college as much as its that I regard I fatality to be sympathetic a minute while l onger.He closed his eyes and exhaled through his nose. You are making me insane, Bella. Havent we had this arguing a million times, you always beg to be a vampire without clog?Yes, precisely well, I go through a reason to be human that I didnt have before.Whats that?Guess, I said, and I dragged myself off the pillows to kiss him.He kissed me book binding, simply not in a way that do me think I was winning. It was more wish he was be careful not to hurt my feelings he was completely, maddeningly in control of himself. Gently, he pulled me away after a moment and cradled me against his chest.You are so human, Bella. govern by your hormones. He chuckled.Thats the whole point, Edward. I like this part of being human. I dont want to give it up yet. I dont want to wait through days of being a blood-crazed newborn for some part of this to come subscribe to me.I yawned, and he smiled.Youre tired. Sleep, love. He started humming the berceuse hed composed for me when we first met .I wonder why Im so tired, I muttered sarcastically. That couldnt be part of your scheme or anything.He just chuckled once and went spur to humming.For as tired as Ive been, youd think Id sleep better.The song broke off. Youve been sleeping like the dead, Bella. You havent said a word in your sleep since we got here. If it werent for the snoring, Id worry you were slipping into a coma.I ignored the snoring jibe I didnt snore. I havent been tossing? Thats weird. Usually Im all over the bed when Im having nightmares. And shouting.Youve been having nightmares?Vivid ones. They make me so tired. I yawned. I cant weigh I havent been babbling about them all night.What are they about?Different things just the same, you know, because of the colors.Colors?Its all so bright and real. Usually, when Im dreaming, I know that I am. With these, I dont know Im asleep. It makes them scarier.He sounded disturbed when he spoke again. What is frightening you?I shuddered fragilely. for the most pa rt I hesitated.Mostly? he prompted.I wasnt sure why, but I didnt want to tell him about the child in my recurring nightmare there wassomething unavowed about that particular mutual exclusiveness. So, instead of adult him the full description, I gave him just one element. Certainly enough to frighten me or anyone else.The Volturi, I whispered.He hugged me tighter. They arent going to upset us anymore. Youll be immortal soon, and theyll have no reason.I let him console me, feeling a bitty red-handed that hed misunderstood. The nightmares werent like that, exactly. It wasnt that I was afraid for myself I was afraid for the male child.He wasnt the same boy as that first dream the vampire child with the bloodred eyes who sat on a pile of dead muckle I loved. This boy Id dreamed of four times in the last week was definitely human his cheeks were flushed and his all-inclusive eyes were a soft green. But just like the other child, he move with fear and desperation as the Volt uri closed in on us.In this dream that was both new and old, I simply had to protect the unknown child. there was no other option. At the same time, I knew that I would fail.He adage the desolation on my flavour. What can I do to help?I shook it off. Theyre just dreams, Edward.Do you want me to sing to you? Ill sing all night if it leave behind keep the bad dreams away.Theyre not all bad. Some are nice. So colorful. Underwater, with the fish and the coral. It all throwms like its really happening I dont know that Im dreaming. whitethornhap this island is the problem. Its really bright here.Do you want to go home?No. No, not yet. Cant we stay awhile longer?We can stay as long as you want, Bella, he promised me.When does the semester start? I wasnt compensable attention before.He sighed. He may have started humming again, too, but I was under before I could be sure.Later, when I awoke in the dark, it was with shock. The dream had been so very real so vivid, so sensory. I gasped aloud, now, disoriented by the dark room. Only a warrant ago, it seemed, I had been under the brilliant sun.Bella? Edward whispered, his ordnance store tight roughly me, shaking me gently. atomic number 18 you all right, sweetheart?Oh, I gasped again. clean a dream. not real. To my utter astonishment, snap overflowed from my eyes without warning, gushing down my face.Bella he said louder, alarmed now. Whats wrong? He wiped the tears from my hot cheeks with cold, frantic fingers, but others followed.It was only a dream. I couldnt hold on the low sob that broke in my voice. The starless tears were disturbing,but I couldnt get control of the staggering sorrow that gripped me. I wanted so disadvantageously for the dream to be real.Its okay, love, youre fine. Im here. He rocked me back and forth, a little too immediate to soothe. Did you have another(prenominal) nightmare? It wasnt real, it wasnt real.Not a nightmare. I shook my head, scouring the back of my hand against my e yes. It was a candid dream. My voice broke again.Then why are you crying? he asked, be unbalancedered.Because I woke up, I wailed, wrapping my ordnance store somewhat his neck in a throttlehold and sobbing into his throat.He pranked once at my logic, but the sound was tense with concern.Everythings all right, Bella. Take deep breaths.It was so real, I cried. I wanted it to be real. circu belatedly me about it, he urged. perchance that will help.We were on the beach. I trailed off, pulling back to look with tear-filled eyes at his uneasy angels face, dim in the darkness. I stared at him broodingly as the unreasonable grief began to ebb.And? he finally prompted.I blinked the tears out of my eyes, torn. Oh, Edward Tell me, Bella, he pleaded, eyes wild with worry at the pain in my voice.But I couldnt. Instead I clutched my arms around his neck again and locked my mouth with his feverishly. It wasnt desire at all it was get hold of, acute to the point of pain. His response was instant(prenominal) but quickly followed by his rebuff.He struggled with me as gently as he could in his surprise, holding me away, grasping my shoulders.No, Bella, he insisted, looking at me as if he was worried that Id lost my mind.My arms dropped, defeated, the uncommon tears spilling in a clean-living torrent down my face, a new sob rising in my throat. He was right I must be crazy.He stared at me with confused, anguished eyes.Im s-s-s-orry, I mumbled.But he pulled me to him therefore, hugging me tightly to his marble chest.I cant, Bella, I cant His groan was agonized.Please, I said, my plea muffled against his skin. Please, Edward?I couldnt tell if he was go by the tears trembling in my voice, or if he was unprepared to deal with the abruptness of my attack, or if his need was simply as unbearable in that moment as my own. But whatever the reason, he pulled my lips back to his, surrendering with a groan.And we began where my dream had left off.I stayed very still when I woke up in the morning and tried to keep my breathing even. I was afraid to open my eyes.I was lying crosswise Edwards chest, but he was very still and his arms were not absorbed around me. That was a bad sign. I was afraid to declare I was awake and face his passion no matter whom it was directed at today.Carefully, I peeked through my eyelashes. He was stark(a) up at the dark ceiling, his arms behind his head. I pulled myself up on my elbow so that I could see his face better. It was smooth, expressionless.How much trouble am I in? I asked in a small voice.Heaps, he said, but turned his head and smirked at me.I breathed a sigh of relief. I am sorry, I said. I didnt stringent Well, I dont know exactly what that was last night. I shook my head at the memory of the irrational tears, the crushing grief.You never did tell me what your dream was about.I guess I didnt but I cast of showed you what it was about. I laughed nervously.Oh, he said. His eyes widened, and hence he bli nked. Interesting.It was a very dependable dream, I murmured. He didnt comment, so a hardly a(prenominal) seconds later I asked, Am I forgiven?Im thinking about it.I sat up, planning to examine myself there didnt seem to be any feathers, at least. But as I go, an unmatchable wave of vertigo hit. I swayed and evil back against the pillows.Whoa head rush.His arms were around me then. You slept for a long time. 12 hours.Twelve?How strange.I gave myself a quick look-over while I spoke, trying to be inconspicuous about it. I looked fine. The bruises on my arms were still a week old, yellowing. I stretched experimentally. I felt fine, too. Well, better than fine, actually.Is the inventory complete?I nodded sheepishly. The pillows all appear to have survived.Unfortunately, I cant theorize the same for your, er, nightgown. He nodded toward the foot of the bed, where several(prenominal) scraps of black lace were strewn across the silk sheets.Thats too bad, I said. I desire that one. I did, too.Were there any other casualties? I asked timidly.Ill have to buy Esme a new bed frame, he confessed, glancing over his shoulder. I followed his gaze and was shocked to see that large chunks of wood had apparently been gouged from the left side of the headboard.Hmm. I frowned. Youd think I would have heard that.You seem to be extraordinarily unobservant when your attention is other than involved.I was a bit absorbed, I admitted, blushing a deep red.He touched my burning cheek and sighed. Im really going to miss that.I stared at his face, searching for any signs of the anger or remorse I feared. He gazed back at me evenly, his expression calm but otherwise unreadable.How are you feeling?7He laughed.What? I demanded.You look so immoral like youve committed a crime.I feel guilty, I muttered.So you seduced your all-too-willing husband. Thats not a capital offense.He seemed to be teasing.My cheeks got hotter. The word seduced implies a certain summate of premeditation.Maybe that was the wrong word, he allowed.Youre not angry?He smiled ruefully. Tm not angry.Why not?Well. . . He paused. I didnt hurt you, for one thing. It was easier this time, to control myself, to passage the excesses. His eyes flickered to the damaged frame again. Maybe because I had a better caprice of what to expect.A hopeful smile started to splay across my face. I told you that it was all about practice.He rolled his eyes.My stomach growled, and he laughed. Breakfast time for the human? he asked.Please, I said, hopping out of bed. I moved too quickly, though, and had to stagger drunkenly to see my balance. He caught me before I could muff into the dresser.Are you all right?If I dont have a better sense of equilibrium in my next life, Im demanding a refund.I cooked this morning, frying up some eggs too hungry to do anything more elaborate. Impatient, I flipped them onto a plate after just a few minutes.Since when do you eat eggs sunny-side up? he asked.Since now.Do you know h ow many a(prenominal) eggs youve gone through in the last week? He pulled the fight bin out from under the sink it was full of empty blue cartons.Weird, I said after swallowing a heat bite. This place is wading with my appetite. And my dreams, and my already dubious balance. But I like it here. Well probably have to leave soon, though, wont we, to make it to Dartmouth in time? Wow, I guess we need to find a place to live and stuff, too.He sat down next to me. You can give up the college cant now youve gotten what you wanted. And we didnt agree to a deal, so there are no string attached.I snorted. It wasnt a pretense, Edward. I dont cash in ones chips my free time p freshetting like some people do. What can we do to wear Bella out today? I said in a poor film of his voice. He laughed, unashamed. I really do want a little more time being human. I leaned over to run my hand across his bare chest. I have not had enough.He gave me a dubious look. For this? he asked, catch my hand as it moved down his stomach. Sex was the key all on? He rolled his eyes. Why didnt i think of that? he muttered sarcastically. I could have saved myself a lot of arguments.I laughed. Yeah, probably.You are so human, he said again.I know.A hint of a smile pulled at his lips. Were going to Dartmouth? rattling?Ill probably fail out in one semester.Ill tutor you. The smile was wide now. Youre going to love college.Do you think we can find an apartment this late?He grimaced, looking guilty. Well, we sort of already have a house there. You know, just in case.You bought a house? really estate is a good investment.I raised one eyebrow and then let it go. So were ready, then.Ill have to see if we can keep your before car for a little longer___Yes, heaven forbid I not be protected from tanks.He grinned.How much longer can we stay? I asked.Were fine on time. A few more weeks, if you want. And then we can visit Charlie before we go to novel Hampshire. We could spend Christmas with Rene e___His words painted a very happy immediate future, one free of pain for everyone involved. The Jacob-drawer, all but forget, rattled, and i amended the thought for almost everyone.This wasnt getting any easier. Now that Id detect exactly how good being human could be, it was tempting to let my plans drift. Eighteen or nineteen, nineteen or twenty Did it really matter? I wouldnt change so much in a year. And being human with Edward The choice got trickier every day.A few weeks, I agreed. And then, because there never seemed to be enough time, I added, So I was thinking you know what I was saying about practice before?He laughed. Can you hold on to that thought? I hear a boat. The cleaning crew must be here.He wanted me to hold on to that thought. So did that mean he was not going to give me any more trouble about practicing? I smiled. allow me explain the mess in the white room to Gustavo, and then we can go out. Theres a place in the jungle on the south I dont want to go out . i am not hiking all over the island today. I want to stay here and watch a movie.He pursed his lips, trying not to laugh at my disgruntled tone. All right, whatever youd like. Why dont you pick one out while I get the limen?I didnt hear a knock.He cocked his head to the side, listening. A half second later, a faint, timid rap on the door sounded. He grinned and turned for the hallway.I wandered over to the shelves under the big TV and started scanning through the titles. It was hard to decide where to begin. They had more DVDs than a rental store.I could hear Edwards low, velvet voice as he came back down the hall, conversing fluidly in what I assumed was perfect Portuguese. Another, harsher, human voice answered in the same tongue.Edward led them into the room, pointing toward the kitchen on his way. The two Brazilians looked incredibly go around and dark next to him. One was a round man, the other a slight female, both their faces creased with lines. Edward gestured to me with a proud smile, and I heard my name mixed in with a flurry of unfamiliar words. I flushed a little as I thought of the downy mess in the white room, which they would soon encounter. The little man smiled at me culturedly.But the critical coffee-skinned woman didnt smile. She stared at me with a assortment of shock, worry, and most of all, wide-eyed fear. Before I could react, Edward motioned for them to follow him toward the chicken coop, and they were gone.When he reappeared, he was alone. He walked swiftly to my side and wrapped his arms around me.Whats with her? I whispered urgently, remembering her panicked expression.He shrugged, unperturbed. Kaures part Ticuna Indian. She was raised to be more superstitious or you could call it more aware(p) than those who live in the modern world. She suspects what I am, or close enough. He still didnt sound worried. They have their own legends here. The Libishomen a blood-drinking demon who preys exclusively on beautiful women. He lee red at me.Beautiful women only? Well, that was kind of flattering.She looked terrified, I said.She is but mostly shes worried about you.Me?Shes afraid of why I have you here, all alone. He chuckled darkly and then looked toward the wall of movies. Oh well, why dont you choose something for us to watch? Thats an so-so human thing to do.Yes, Im sure a movie will convince her that youre human. I laughed and clasped my arms securely around his neck, stretchiness up on my tiptoes. He leaned down so that I could kiss him, and then his arms tightened around me, lifting me off the stem so he didnt have to bend.Movie, schmovie, I muttered as his lips moved down my throat, kink my fingers in his bronze hair.Then I heard a gasp, and he put me down abruptly. Kaure stood frozen in the hallway, feathers in her black hair, a large give the sack of more feathers in her arms, an expression of horror on her face. She stared at me, her eyes bugging out, as I blushed and looked down. Then she reco vered herself and murmured something that, even in an unfamiliar language, was clearly an apology. Edward smiled and answered in a friendly tone. She turned her dark eyes awayand continued down the hall.She was thinking what I think she was thinking, wasnt she? I muttered.He laughed at my convoluted sentence. Yes.Here, I said, reaching out at ergodic and grabbing a movie. Put this on and we can pretend to watch it.It was an old tuneful with smiling faces and fluffy dresses on the look. really honeymoonish, Edward approved.While actors on the screen danced their way through a perky launch song, I lolled on the sofa, snuggled into Edwards arms. leave alone we move back into the white room now? I wondered idly.I dont know. Ive already mangled the headboard in the other room beyond repair perchance if we limit the destruction to one sector of the house, Esme might invite us back someday.I smiled widely. So there will be more destruction?He laughed at my expression. I think it mig ht be safer if its premeditated, rather than if I wait for you to assault me again.It would only be a matter of time, I agreed casually, but my pulse was racing in my veins.Is there something the matter with your heart?Nope. Healthy as a horse. I paused. Did you want to go survey the demolition zone now?Maybe it would be more polite to wait until were alone. You may not find oneself me tearing the furniture apart, but it would probably scare them.In truth, Id already forgotten the people in the other room. Right. Drat.Gustavo and Kaure moved quietly through the house while I waited impatiently for them to finish and tried to pay attention to the happily-ever-after on the screen. I was starting to get sleepy though, harmonize to Edward, Id slept half the day when a rough voice startled me. Edward sat up, retention me cradled against him, and answered Gustavo in flowing Portuguese. Gustavo nodded and walked quietly toward the front door.Theyre finished, Edward told me.So that woul d mean that were alone now?How about lunch first? he suggested.I bit my lip, torn by the dilemma. I was pretty hungry.With a smile, he took my hand and led me to the kitchen. He knew my face so well, it didnt matter that he couldnt read my mind.This is getting out of hand, I complained when I finally felt full.Do you want to swim with the dolphins this afternoon burn off the calories? he asked.Maybe later. I had another idea for burning calories.And what was that?Well, theres an awful lot of headboard left But I didnt finish. Hed already swept me up into his arms, and his lips silenced mine as he carried me with inhuman f number to the blue room.